For the record, Aiden means no disrespect toward prostitutes. He’s just not about that life. Also, please do not send people crazy sexual poetry unless you’re sure they’re cool with it. I don’t want to condone unsolicited awkward text messages.

Vote incentive this week is a little on the shippy side, but not so much so that the non-shippers will find it gross or anything. Hopefully this will help the Kaiden shippers forgive me for having Aiden express interest in another girl. 😉

I came up with a bunch of those silly poems while brainstorming. I posted a few to my twitter already, but here are some of the ones I wrote down. Just be warned – they are extremely stupid:


Roses are red

Stars are in space

You’re really pretty

Sit on my face


Roses are red

Violets are purple

I’ll do a good job

of slurping your nurple


Roses are red

Blue is the sea

Dark hallways are scary



Roses are red

Snow is chilly

I volunteer

to fuck you silly


Roses are red

Sunshine is warm

Your photos are almost

better than porn


Roses are red

Ducks aren’t geese

Let’s rob a bank

Fuck da police


Weed gets you high

higher than heaven

I rate this poem

a 5/7


Roses are red

So are most bricks

I masturbate

to most of your pics


Roses are red

Sugar is sweet

I look at your facebook

while beating my meat


Roses are red

There are seven sins

I’m going in dry



Roses are red

So is your blood

If I were to kill you

Your body’d go “thud”


Roses are red

Moo goes the cow

Hey look – aliens

Ayy lmao


Roses are red

Oil is slick

I’ll make it worthwhile

if you ride on my dick



Happy Valentine’s day you beautiful fucks